Mom Wars....we all know what they are. It's not being able to go anywhere or read anything without feeling or being told you're doing it all wrong!!
It's so exhausting.....as a new mother it makes you want to hit something, or cry, or if you're like me you accidentally take it out on the wrong people
It all started like this: KG was nervous when we first moved to a new area. She's shy, didn't know how to approach new kids & wanted to make new friends. We were on the way to Publix when I was giving her tips on talking to new kids. As we strolled down the baby aisle, I noticed a nice looking lady around my age wearing her daughter in a really cool wrap. I stopped introduced myself & asked her all about said wrap. Somehow we started talking all about baby stuff & she asked me if I had ever heard of Baby Led Weaning. For those of you who aren't familiar with it it's a British term for introducing solids to babies & forgoing puréed food. She told me about a wonderful support group on Facebook & to give it a try, so I did.
At first it was such a wonderful support group, so much encouragement, advice, tips, etc. Then came all the mommy wars that flood my newsfeed. It's not just this group, it's everywhere. It's at church, school, playgrounds, friends, everywhere.
Conversations usually go like this: my child only eats organic, it's not good for babies to eat puréed food, children need to explore, don't listen to your healthcare provider on ANYTHING only you know your child, you should have nursed longer, formula is subpar & I would never give my child something not naturally made, cows milk? Haven't you read on so & so's blog where cows milk isn't fit for human consumption. My child will only drink soy/almond milk...yah yah yah....blah blah blah
SHUT UP
Before I get my friends upset let me explain. I really don't care if any mom chooses to make those decisions for their child. I'm not judging you, I promise. And truthfully none of my close friends have ever said these things to me. It's really been in passing from others or articles or blogs or anywhere I look when I'm trying to learn how to be a mother. I mean, I'm not perfect I have to google stuff sometimes :). I'm just tired of the mommy wars.
None of us really have it together, so stop faking it. I let my son eat off the floor occasionally at home because guess what, my floors get cleaned daily & I'm not following behind every footstep with a broom..I don't have time for that
My laundry is never complete.....ever! I can't honestly tell you when it will be, and I'm not worried. SomedaysI let Coleman go half the day with his PJs on or just a diaper & he loves it :). I nursed him to 6 months, not because I wanted to stop because I didn't, it just didn't work out the way I planned. He's never been sick except a small cold that lasted a couple days once in his entire first year. I'm very blessed. Before I had him I was so convinced that if he was EBF for the first 12 months he was going to be sick constantly, thank goodness that's not the case
I've never fed him organic anything, not because I'm against it, I just haven't. He eats what I eat & he's healthy. He hit every milestone ahead of schedule. I say that not to brag but to point out you can do everything " wrong" according to the latest trends & your child still land on top
Can we please stop doing this to each other. Stop subtly judging & condemning because another mom chose to do it differently. Stop competing with each other with whose kid is best or has the best stuff
We're all moms, we've all struggled, are struggling, will struggle. We've all taken a few extra minutes in the shower to just cry because that's the only place to let out our frustration. We've all completely messed up & immediately prayed that whatever just happened didn't permanently scar your child, we've all let our babies cry a little too long, or we've yelled one too many times
But we've also loved our babies more than anyone and we've also seen the joy in their face when we walk into the room. We've seen them completely melt in need of our presence and we've all felt like no matter what bumps we've encountered that at the end of the day were still the worlds best mom to them
So please stop the mommy wars...we're all fighting just to stay on top of our own position lets not tear anyone else down for theirs
