This one goes out to all my ladies...  I try to only post when I have something I feel is important enough to write about.  I need all the wifey's out there to tune into this one...I'm speaking to you, and to me too!  Don't worry, I'm not about to dish out advice that I don't have to people who have been married much longer than I have been.  I am however going to bring about a verse that was placed upon my heart this morning in MOPS that hit me pretty hard as I'm sure it will you too.

Proverbs 14:1  "A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands"

What does this even mean?

It means that we, women, have become so consumed with doing things our way that we've missed everything God has in store for us.  Let me say that again.  We have been so consumed with doing everything our way, that we've missed God completely. 
What??

I love others
I go to church every Sunday
I pray daily
I'm a committed wife
I love my kids and put them first (we'll get to that in another post)
I, I, I, I......

I don't know a lot about marriage, I'm learning as I go. I do know this, though. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Harder than pregnancy, harder than 20 hours of labor, harder than nursing school (yeah a few of you will get that one :) ) It's the hardest thing I've ever set out to do.

I remember when I was engaged and my BIG day wasn't too far away. My mother and I were driving in the car and she told me. "Leslie, I'm going to tell you something about marriage. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but the best decision you'll ever make.  You're going to have highs & lows, but you're also going to have commitment, love, and security. You're going to come to a point in your marriage, not sure when, but you're going to question if you made the right decision....

whoa....what??

I thought she was crazy, but she was right. Haven't we all been there? Questioned our decisions. Not Is this person the one for me? but if I'm doing everything I can why are we having rough patches? What am I doing wrong? Why isn't he just seeing my side. Why is he so hard to deal with?

why, why, why, me, me, me, I, I I....

Are we seeing a pattern here?  I sure am.  When I took all the "I's" out and replaced it with God's word, God revealed Himself to me, and it wasn't pretty.  He showed me how selfish I was, how bitter, critical, judgmental, and completely disconnected with Him I was.  Talk about a slap in the face.  No wonder I wasn't at peace. No wonder everyone around me was unhappy. I was the reason.  I completely consumed myself with myself and not God's word. I was tearing down my own home and not building it up.

Wives:  we have a beautiful, special, and delicate role to fulfill.  God calls us to lift up, respect, and submit to our husbands. Why is that so hard? It's so hard because we have a Godless world shouting at us every time we turn around that we are women, powerful, self-righteous, and most of all, independent.  That's wonderful, but where does that leave your husband?  What message does that send him? Is he insignificant? What role does he play in your life if he's not the leader of your home?  I know this is a hard pill to swallow, trust me.  I told Justin countless times before we married "If you expect me to be that wife that cooks every meal for you, picks up after you, washes your clothes, and is your maid, then this isn't going to work out. I am not a 1950s wife, and will not conform"

Is that what we've twisted the word "submission" into? Have we become so far removed from what God calls us to do that we demean it down to a few chores?  I'm learning that submitting means, actually submitting to God, to His word, to His love, and to His authority. Why? because He has proven time and time again that He never falters, never changes, and is always there.

I am a working progress for sure.....but I refuse to continue being the reason my home is being torn down. I will build my home up, according to God's word. I will not disrespect my husband or my children with my actions, and words.  I will love him unconditionally, not matter what.  Why? because GOD first loved me.  Isn't that the whole point of marriage anyway? To be a reflection of God's love?